scab on my lip

lalala huhu

2011-08-12T23:42:00.001+09:00

the books i've read recently and books i am reading

"skywriting by word of mouth" by John Lennon

"days new york" by Kisei Kobayashi

"Just me!" by Yoko Ono

"Nine Stories" by J.D.Salinger

my misarable face after last crying days.

my 5th zine was done! check it out!

まじめでユーモア不足。まだ20歳。

2011-08-12T00:34:00.005+09:00

自分の立ち位置について考える。
夏の暑さに結構やられて、日中はあまり頭が回りません。1度起きても、日陰になっている部屋、つまり私の部屋にやってきては、ふらっとして、生きてる意味ある？ってくらい、ぼーっとしてしまいます。あとから後悔するのが嫌だから、今日は何をしようって考えるんだけど、ただ時間をつぶしてるみたい。全く有意義じゃないの。とても寂しい。時間を紛らわしている。
実際やることはたくさんあると思う。インドに行く準備はほとんど何もしてない。1日目のホテルの予約は取ったけれど、バンガロール（私たちが行く街）が予想よりも近代的で東京みたいなので、行き当たりばったりでいいのかしら。まあ、なんとかはなると思うけど。でも何もしらないまま行くのです。そのままインドから帰れなくなってしまったら、本望だわ。ニューヨークもいい、やっぱりニューヨークはあれよね、最先端なものも考え方も集まってて、許されてるから。いい。ニーナ・ハーゲンもnew york new yorkでnew your is the hottest placeって唄っているし、あんなに前から。
インド行きは、予想していたことが覆されています。バンガロールに行く2大理由、どちらも実現できなくなりました。どうしようもないんだ、と言い聞かせてる。お風呂場の鏡で自分の姿を見るのと、空を見て、やりすごすことが多い。本を読めばいいんでしょうけど、没頭できるし、著者か登場人物になりきれて現実逃避ができるから、無理やりはできないよね、やっぱり。意味がない、と思っています。それに、そう言われた、ある憎い人に。一緒に行く友達は、インドに興味がないけれど私が行く？って聞いたら、性格的に断れず、行くことになったんですね。彼女は私の事情ってやつを知っているから、一緒に行けば楽しいよ、って言ってくれた。私が、バンガロールに行く理由の1つが駄目になったと言った時に。彼女に申し訳なくなってしまって、ビザや航空券、ホテルの予約、観光地のリサーチ、全部自分でやっている。お世話になっているお店の大人に分からないところは頼っているけれど。せめて、タージ・マハルを見たがっていたから、デリーにすれば良かったのかしら。私もそれならジャスミンに会えただろうし。でもその時は、駄目になるなんて考えもしていなかったから。
そして会うのかなんなのか、って人が2人。詳しくは書きたくないけれど、もう、大変よう。ダメージを受けていたので、誰かに話したいと思っていて、でも、ほら、ネガティブというかこういう話は誰にすればよいのか分からなかったの。さっきリアンがインド旅行について、進展している？って聞いてくれたときに、ぽろっと言ってしまった。ああ、ってちょっと後悔したけど、そうしたら、彼女は本当に大きな心を持っているなあ、といつも感心するんだけど、どんなに傷ついたか分かるわ、って親身になってくれた。びっくりした。まだ、その話解決してないから明日話しましょ、ってことで、今日も聞いてくれるみたいです。
こう色々大変だと、もう、エンドは何か、と聞きたいですよ。生きてる価値、とか、わたし自信の値打ち、意味。そして今のポジション。なかなか友達ができなくて、ねえ。本当にわたしって寂しい、というか孤独。それが当たり前、ってほど独立していないし、誰かとずっと一緒にいることもできない。私は自分のことを観察型だと思っているのだけど、大半の人がそうであるように、笑っていることや、ノリをあわせることで繋いでいく人との関係を作ることができなくて、かと言って、そこまで知識がないから、頭の良い会話に入っていくこともできないし、興味のないトピックには退屈だって感じてしまう。居場所がほしい、わけじゃない。それも重たく感じるか、うんざりしちゃうって分かってる。何もかもから解放されたい。
全く連絡を取っていなくても頻繁に顔を思い出してはどうしてるかな、って気にしたり、その人のアップデートはしっかり理解するようにしている人たちが数人いて、そういう人を友達っていうんだって、この間教わった。相手は全く気にしてなかったりして～、なんて笑えない話にもほどがあるわ。ますます居場所がない。
ここまでくると、しつこくアプローチを続けてくる人と遊んじゃおうかしら、ってバカな考えも、半周回って面白いアイデアに聞こえる。そのあと、もっと寂しくなるんでしょうけど。

2011-07-31T14:34:00.021+09:00

Ojos de Brujo - Rumba del adios

I've just been spending great time recently. with no certain people but I like it that I don't have always-together-friends as a one individual. well nothing special happened and I even didn't try to make an action but somehow I feel good not very satisfied though. I'd rather want to study now and live with all kinds of people. I started to feel there are no liking or hating for human, the matter is just degree and every one have kindness, basic things.
I don't really want to talk about my theory by the way of like inducing. since when I chatted with my action hero Jasmeen to let her know that I am going to her country, unfortunately I won't be able to see her though, she told me that study is cool so that you know I am simple enough to go for it. thanks to her.

http://www.personweb.com/articles/278
そして！私の尊敬するお友達、はまむが韓国のウェブサイトで取り上げられています。格好良すぎ。やばいやばい。
and just let me tell you that my friend Hamamu were featured on Korean website. super duper cool.

it is peter pan when he sewed his lost shadow on shoes.
me in 3 colors @ higure 17-15 cas http://hgrnews.exblog.jp/
a cat run into that gallery and never come out there
at zakuro with model friends at open campus of musashino art uni
I first time met them and one right side has been a backpacker traveling to europe, africa, south, central and north america for 8 months. respectable.
last shot of me with this messy hair but I still have a same hair style.
oh yes we are the linguistic students. the language is fun.
lovers

図書館でまわる

2011-07-28T11:58:00.002+09:00

taken by akiko

the first half of july 2011

2011-07-17T01:27:00.024+09:00

a cat waiting for me getting home

mom

me on the 3331's brochure

listened the sitar and tabla and did meditation then

received the zine of the project I've joined being taken my face with & without makeup by lucie

me on kuis graffiti on 7/15. my friend haruka is on 16th and my teacher lucius is 17th.

i love to get off the shoes and walk around in barefoot, and to feel summer in a shaded place

movies and photos in June and some of them in May

2011-06-26T20:40:00.025+09:00

me by sally chan. happy xoxo

Eastern Plays

About Elly

The Witches Of Eastwick

Jelly Fish

Carol's Journey

Gypsies Are Found Near Heaven

MAU collection

2011-06-20T20:59:00.032+09:00

今日は時間があるからブログを書きます。
昨日・おとといは朝から晩まで、いつもとは全く違う、例えて言うなら、他の人の日常に紛れ込みました。見た目の美しさや外見を見られるが好きな人はたくさんいるだろうから、私のすべきこと・役割ではなかったけど、珍しいことを経験できて良かった。デザイナーの友達のモデルを選んだ理由が、自主的にショーを作っていける信頼できる子、だって聞いて、自信が付いたのと、一緒にモデルをした2人の女の子が飾らないきれいな子達だったので、なるほどなって納得です。
彼女はとてもセンスが良いと思った。ファッションだけじゃなくて、なんていうか生き方が。そしてアクティビスト。刺激しあえる友達だって言われて、色々やり続けようと決意しました。当分はインド旅行のことだけになると思うけど。そのうちジンも作ろう。ジン、って形にしようって考えるとアートになって時間がかかってしまうので、不特定多数の方々へ手紙を書くような気分で。
そうそう、それで、90％が見た目で決まるって、信じてないけど本当なんだろうね、くだらないよね、そんなことって。みんなが言ってるんだからそれなりに整えることは大事、じゃないとますます私の話を聞いてくれる人が少なくなると思うの。でも、そうね、悪いって言いたいわけじゃないけど。まあ、みなさん、勉強しましょう。
話は変わって、小学生の頃よくH/Kって書いたよね、どうでもいいけど。で、最近考えていることがあって、私は去年、フェミニズムとインディムービー・音楽に夢中になってて、今年は、そうね、アラブ世界とかステレオタイプに関心があるのかな。今日、女の子とも結構仲良くなれちゃうような男の子の友達がいて、その子が、去年の私なら、たぶん距離を置きたくなっちゃうようなことを、言ったというかしました。そして、あからさまなギョッとしたリアクションを取ったのは失礼だったと思うけど、だって男なら誰でもそうするじゃん、って言ったのね。その些細な出来事を、客観的に考えようしました。
今年、1番私に良くも悪くも影響を与えた、だから、一瞬そういう間柄になったインド人が言ってたのは、みんな違う文化を持ってるんだから、お互い尊敬するべきだよね、何でも許す・認めるべきだよね、ってこと。そのあとに、だから何でも自分の好きなことをすればいいんだよ、って、社会の中に生きてる以上無理なことを言い加えて、やりたい放題に生きたい、ということを正当化しようとしてたけど。
フェミニズムの重要性を気づいてる人が少ないからみんな知って気づくべきだ！って信じて止まなかった私は、それに固執して頑固になって、そのせいで、ラディカルなところまで走った。私の性格が元々、猪突猛進タイプっていうのもあるけど。
でも、それを聞いて、何が正しいのか、一瞬であやふやになった。私はこう思う！ってだけで、終わり？誰にも強要できないなら、理解を深めて、世の中にはこういう考えがあるんですよ、って述べて、へーそうなんだ、って流されて、終わり？全く、それじゃ状況や、世界は一向に変わらないじゃないか！って叫んでも、いやいや、十人十色だから仕方ないよ、でお終い。みんな仲良く共存しましょう、って考えを持っているなんてことはないね。だってアウトサイダーにとって居心地がいい場所は限られてる、って経験したから。
何が言いたかったんだっけ。私は、そうね、この根本的なことを、さあ、どうしたらいいの？って問いがぐるぐるしてるだけ。まだ夢を見ていたい。状況なんて簡単に変わるわけないんだから、諦めて共存を解けばいじゃん、って、それはとてもアリだと思うのです。少々、自然に身を任せてみます。
はいはい、やっとお待ちかねの、昨日の写真貼ります。どうぞ。写真より実物のほうがもっともっと華やかできれいだった。

凍死

2011-06-08T00:06:00.005+09:00

今日はとりわけ精神が不安定、だったので小さい頃からの知恵でベリー系の紅茶を持ってベランダに座り込んで、ネオンを眺めたり、目を瞑って自然な音を聞いてた。本物の夜のピクニック。じんましん、ってくらいひどく蚊に刺されたけど。
久しぶりですね、こんな風になっちゃうのは。去年なんて、自分ではどうしようもできない気分の波に毎日翻弄されて、かなりすさんでいたけど、まあそのおかげで色々活動できた、かな。私が穏やかになれたのは、やっぱりここ2、3ヶ月で愛されていることや社会の中にちゃんといるってことを知ったからです。人との出会いと良いバイト先。普通に生きているって幸せです。そして考え方が変わりました。排他的な考え方で、ほとんど何にも許せないせいで、何にも好きになれないで、今よりもずっとプライドが高かった。そして今、180度回転して、全てを文化の違いとして受け入れてる。平和と共存。嫌いとか好きの概念はもはや重要じゃない。世の中は必然的で、宇宙的なことに身を任せてる。ヒッピーのスピリットに似てるね。
どんなことも許せるようになったら、基準やルールが何なのか分からなくなってきちゃってる。だからもう、例えばドラッグはいけないこと、っていう概念がどっかにいっちゃってる。他には、これは前も書いたかもしれないけど、21世紀ではジェンダーは意味を持たなくていい。私は持ちたくない。女の子にも"その意味"である程度、気持ちを持っているべきだと思う。
というか基準を持っていることって、もう遅れたステイタスだと思うよ。小さなルールなんて何の意味もないよね。
あと、ベランダで何を考えていたのか忘れちゃった。24時間くらい前に、どんなに怒って傷ついたからって、泣きながら言ってはいけない言葉を使った。最低だったと思って、そのことでまだちょっと落ち込んでる。
なんてね、ちょっと大げさかしら。明日も、がんばりましょうね

lust for life

2011-05-25T22:30:00.015+09:00

Hakim - El Salamo Alikum

夜中の思いつきアートアクション/an art action I came up at midnight

2011-05-18T02:07:00.009+09:00

Recently there were some stories about someone's death around me and all over the world, like 29th May is an annivasary of my grandpa's death and yes as you know 3.11, tsunami killed so many innocent people. I was kinda sick of seeing the news/hearing the stories about death. The most shocking one was Osama's death. I've read his statement of 9.11 and first time knew that there was a conflict in Pakistan against American army, to be frank I don't remember it exactly, and lots of innocent people there were killed. Then after his death, I saw the news mass of people were having a big party to celebrate his death. Next day I found that a woman and three children in Pakistan who are Muslim were killed. Innocent people were killed again. I was scared to see the mass of people were going wrong way. I don't say this people were wrong and that ones are right. Because we need to respect our differences. And we have to know the truth not to repeat a tragedy. I feel I gotta learn more as a member of a developed country thinking of people are not full of chances to be educated. It's a only obligation for us to do. In my uni, since this is specific in language the students are motivated to learn English and to make friends with English native speakers but somehow they seems not to try to know other countries and their cultures so that they are tend to see a thing from only one direction. We need to know the differences and respect them.
Thogh it's gonna change a lil different topic, bisexuality sounds ideal in extreame way. Yes of course I want to be kind and liberal to anyone.
Oh I could be bold to make an art action even at midnight, almost 3am. I was praying what I've been feeling like into them. Well I expressed my uneasyness as pretending a Muslim woman in first one. and second one is we gotta think like. I believe in a power letters have. If someting is asserted, maybe it's going to follow what it was done. The famous example is 'war is over'.
oh on the last, don't focus on that I'm in pajama and without makeup please.

a post without your picture

2011-05-07T20:42:00.014+09:00

went Asakusa dating not with you. We've been lying under Sensou temple(浅草寺) and roaming around 'sky tree' and blah blah. But I really feel I'm lacking in ideas to creat something and make things better. Well it's actually true I don't have a time to spend on them so much.

26th April, sunny

2011-04-28T00:48:00.007+09:00

I was happened to sleep alone at the rooftop in such a comfortable wheater and woke up to hear some people stepping by me. The lovers gazed at me lying on lawn lazily and went downstairs. Since the direction we were heading was same, it looked like I was chasing them.

one ordinary story

2011-04-21T03:08:00.006+09:00

It's just a trivial incidence happened to me. I couldn't help seeing it as an experience, but still believe there is a way to solve it or escaping for love. whatever. If it was not related to dead or alive, it might be something not so important. Even if I'm desparetly crying, sun rises in 3 hours. be tough.

3D card

2011-04-17T19:28:00.001+09:00

じっとする日曜日

2011-04-10T14:35:00.008+09:00

日暮里のZAKUROまで恵ちゃん迎えに来てくれた。
代々木公園のタイフェスに行って、鑑賞券が当たったから『ぴゅ～ピル』見る予定だったんだけど、前者は間に合わなくて、後者は面倒になってやめた。原宿の癒し系のカフェで不潔な共通点の話をしました。面白かった。隣の席の女の子たちが吹き出してた。＆昨日他国出身の人から人気があった。

nerdcore

2011-04-08T16:40:00.009+09:00

fascinating sheesha

2011-04-04T22:47:00.030+09:00

Blackbird Raum - Honey In The Hair
How can we read it? lol It was really good day. I was relaxed a lot at the amazing restaurant with my lovely friends and fascinating sheesha. anyway I'm gonna work at the restaurant at Nippori. yeah. God haven't deserted me.

2011-03-28T20:02:00.023+09:00

26th took a TOEFL was the first time. Since while one was dealing with listening section, others were working with writing or speaking, examinees disturbed each other and even the man sitting in the front row of me started to hold his head. just after that I was roaming around Jinbou-cho by myself to look for the interesting books, then finding out Yoko Ono's collection of art working and London and French fashion magazine in 80's, the most interesting, or another way is the most gross and creepy one I read was the Japanese magazine 'Burst', which is already discontinuance. Well, that's hip at some points, like the article about an action to legalize marijuana. But mostly about sex & drug and dead body. underground sex culture in 90's if say. Since it was freezing like a mid-winter, took a rest at a gallery I've not visited. The owner who played a photographer holding an exhibition then told me about him and his staffs for about an hour and would take some photos of me. telling him I'm a zine maker, he said I can put mine on the gallery. lucky. Lunch alone at a cafe in which there is a colorful wall painting. Dinner with Mana & Nao back to Funabashi. I was not enjoying fully that she might misunderstand me. 27th watched the latest Narnia with my lil sis Misako. Because I woke up late than I've promised, we were barely in time and ended up seating in first line. seeing her off at Funabashi, was heading to 3331, then saw the present exhibition 'social dive'. It was challenging and inspired me was empty after the exam. I love the art that to change our views to matters we have not to ignore and that makes us think of them. For example we had a big earthquake recently and so many people are helping donation. It's surely important action but when the time passes, our shock will be faded away a little by little. Then the art will give us a chance to face to this issue again from another direction I guess. In one work, an African artist mentioned that they've recognized art was not important and secondary until (the japanese artist's name) came hold a workshop. I thought this Japanese artist could prove that art is necessity. 28th went see a 'Voca exhibition' at Ueno royal museum. I failed to understand what did they want to paint to most of the staffs, actually I often feel so when I go to a show of paintings. and I didn't get why did they choose 'painting' as one way to express, it might be because they simply like painting or something like that, but seeing paintings, it seems like the each ones have own completed story and they don't give us to interact with. Then walking around Ueno and got tired a lot! All were pushy. They didn't give me even the time to consider and once I answered 'I'm just seeing' they turned to be cold and hard on me to go off. There is full of Japanese Yankee culture and they are not real, like a souvenir store. And on the way to back to the station, 'host' a male companion for hire followed to convince me into go to the club, which made me shocked because it was so for them I looked like an easy girl to follow anywhere or girl who likes to go there. I was in black witch style from head to toe though. One story may kill your time is here. every time finding an adult shop, I just go into there for fun. (It reminds me of 'Ghost World') However, I've never bought anything. This time, in the end I did buy ones at such a store. applaus. Though what I bought was just a garter and tights, since I was in witch style and alone, all nerdy clerks were observing me but not to get my eyes. And me researched such a nasty goods and also thought on what they were thinking of.

Romantic Love for Love's Sake

2011-03-19T14:07:00.014+09:00

not 3331 but 311

2011-03-14T20:53:00.017+09:00

I got to know a person from India by chance before the tragedy maybe on Wed and we were having a very peaceful time together.
For Vinayak it was the first time to go abroad, of course to come to Japan, and experience the earthquake, which made me feel like I had to protect him.
As I already told him many times, he was pushy and I was scared of his attitude at first. However, it reflected his personality and he turned out to be just a gentle. It was the first time to be treated like a princess. haha. anyway had a great time and plus stopped taking it seriously, because there is no damage for me now. Actually when it comes to the the disaster, I have a lot to say. Twitter is full of information about things related to the earthquake including a ton of rumors and it stirs readers' fear up. I saw one tweet predicted a next big earthquake will happen near Chiba next to Tokyo where I am in April. Reading it, I was frustrated more than frightened. The worst one was the article of vice about Pearl Harbor. While many people are having a mental stress, and people killed is supposed more than 10000, some people look like curious bystanders and sadly it's true there are people find it chances to cheat us out of money or to rape women etc. And also many people are discussing a meaningless thing. As a person in Japan and watching what's going on, we are in chaos. Need to take it easier but they seem not to afford to do so.
However I also found people donated, pray and organized a charity for Japan. I was touched but have nothing but saying thank you. I'll participate the meeting to discuss what can I do now on maybe 16th if the transportation get working as usual soon. and donation. a minute ago I kept my mom and dad's ones with mine. This is all little me can help them right now

義援金は、赤十字社に送るのが良いと思います。コンビにとか駅でも募金活動してる人が結構いると思うけれど、ちゃんと届けてくれるのか不安じゃない。郵便局で手続きができるよ。
詳しくはここで　【日本赤十字社】

THE CUTEST CATS KILLED US

2011-03-06T22:55:00.033+09:00

we died at cats paradise.

air 3331 trip

2011-03-03T16:35:00.017+09:00

trip to Okutama for hotspring. It was the time when Jeremy's dream came true.
We were lucky and only us occupied a bus first of all, ropeway, shrine, ropeway again, bus again, vehicle on the train on which we were, hotspring and Thai restaurant.
Too foggy to look down the landscape even from the top of the mountain.
for Wiyoga, it was the first snowing.It's like a thing Hollywood celebrities do.
snowing plus foggy. It was like I was in a dream.Jeremy and Fung were lowing a flute made by bamboo they bought at a souvenior store on the mountain, which added more trip-like taste.
we started to drink alohol anytime anywhere even in the hotspring.
Then I missed the last train. walking to my house for about 20 minutes or more at midnight was brave action, action hero in another way.

AIR 3331

2011-02-27T02:13:00.037+09:00

for more pictures ---> click!

I sewed sticker with a log of air 3331 but was forgetting to give it to some of them randomly. Before the opening of exhibition, we were working hard but went on making fun even under such an circumstance.My dad is always interested in what I'm doing and this is a prof that he took to this project. Picnic as Ash's workshop. He served a watermelon for us, in winter! and at the roof of 3331! greatbattle ship making in Fung's workshop with kids. I loved her Iroha-chan! Since she was lovely so much I hugged her in secret. someone said Fung is an activist and I thought I agreed with it. Sho-san's workshop. to make a song from small sounds. Interesting. All concentrated on even daily familiar sounds. It made me notice how fun performance art is, not sound art or something. at opening ceremony. look at Higashino-san. a part of his performances. the picture below was taken during the performance as Wiyoga's workshop. We played a typical party for 5 times to explain the japanese politeness ironically. We had an illusion that it happened not related to the performance and it made us get along with. special workshop. Mamemaki. They were quite good at drawing Oni, especially Jeremy was, because his works for exhibition were also Oni motif. Mine was a collaboration work with Jamie. Emma! funny Then scattered beans. scared, painful once I was hit and fun. Farewell party. I used 'fun' or 'funny' a lot above and it seems to show how illiterate I am. But I cannot help saying it was fun. there was almost club. drunk and dancing with R&B music. first time for me to drink 40percent alcohol. deadCraps to Miyata-san! All I want to say is THANKS FOR GOOD MEMORIES!

sewing, drawing and dreaming

2011-02-20T23:20:00.018+09:00

"Os Famosos e os Duendes da Morte"
I will go to see it above at Shibuya tomorrow. got a preview ticket!
I'm currently into sewing and drawing more than observing people.

inspired by Jasmeen, an organizer of Blank Noise focusing on woman's issues.

loser sticker in English and Hindi I've been learning for a week. suit me well.
I've been taking a Hindi language class for a week at uni and in the class we've watched videos of 'culture of Hindi' or something like that. I wondered what's the Hindi culture after it ended, and still now. Because what I was watching was about Yoga, traditional dances, Bollywood movies, sari, curry and so on. It's culture but not really. It's as meaningless as tourists from other countries visiting Kyoto or Nara to see famous temples like Kinkaku-ji(Temple of the Golden Pavilion etc.) and satisfying knowing superficial culture. Always I want to know a core of the culture (when it comes to human too). So I don't see any culture except Japanese and American one yet. I don't fully understand even them.

new zine (it's gonna be a free paper though) of my own drawings.

I'm somehow better to draw not sexy but nasty men.

bracelet made of rags.

Plus one: Megumi's hands
when my friends and me were chilling out in my house, we mocked to run a nail salon. what we did the day was sweet and dreamy. loved it. went shopping for dinner together, cooked ones, talking in Italian and Hindi which we were learning in winter short program of my uni, listening to English speaking as English learners and nailing. girly and peaceful

what I did today...

2011-02-17T00:44:00.004+09:00

was quite inspiring. I went to 3331 to have meeting with Emma an hour later than I've appointed. at there she looked confused with all works she was involved in so all at the sudden I decided to help the project. First mission was to photograph posters of protection from something like kidnapping around Chiyoda area. with another volunteer staff for about 2 hours. Actually I couldn't understand what the artist needed indeed but he neither, so we just took random posters, which made him satisfied in the end I guess I hope so. and afterward we were still helping him with like washing bottles. In his workplace I met another artist from Singapore keeping wiggling his hip side by side and painting a big one with a back music. It was like 'THE ARTIST'. yes, he turned out to be funny I noticed. Then we went up to see around an art fair Tokyo Frontline and fortunately it was an opening day and I could snake into the festival for nothing. yeah, lucky again. I even didn't have a certification. Anyway it was pretty festival-like and fun. I saw many works I like. Lots of staffs related to art were coming and I could see the places we usually cannot go into, just it was fun. in the middle I met an artist from
Australia and we were seeing around the exhibition together for a while, but when I was aware he disappeared and just roaming over alone, I found Hisun coming from another side. by chance. She introduced me all artists of air 3331 and we enjoyed the art festival. I was participating even the meeting and even though all artists agreed with coming 3331 again at 9 in the morning, I was reluctant to it and only me was going to come there 2pm next time. How dare I am.
Hey, the naked women of black&white picture I found in the fes was good. I often think they look stupid and boring when I see them in no clothing and tried to look nasty. However, the one was a sort of photo collection of naked women ordered properly
and they looked like themselves naturally. no smile no weird pose. I thought I wanted to be a nude model with armpits and public hair not for porn but to be like a flower.

このパソコン壊れ気味で、5、6個のキーが押せなくて困ってる、って話をパパにしたら、新しいのを注文してくれたみたい。やったね。

Summer Camp - Ghost Train

ちょっと前のはなし

2011-02-13T02:21:00.011+09:00

この間、はまむらちゃんを誘って渋谷のパルコシアターに演劇を見に行きました。劇は寝ちゃってよく分からなかったし、そもそも開演時間に間に合うことすらできなかった。
でも、大事な話が聞けました、プラスマイナスゼロってこと。見習わなきゃだなあ。

髪の毛が虹色！きれい！

クールな彼女が書いた絵は、実際に聞いたり見たことから直接インスピレーションを受けたもので、歴史を反省し、彼女のフェミニスト的な部分を表してる。
メイク・アクションって叫びたい！

indian party party

2011-02-09T21:14:00.024+09:00

Das Racist - Ek Shaneesh

pretty nice day. I made sure that Nishi-Nippori was the best city in Japan at the point of now.
yesterday I felt like I must take sheesha and came up with a restaurant where I've once passed by , then yes me and akiko went there. I was too excited to take enough sleep last night.
But the store was closed, which disappointed us to hell. We were walking around the city for 2 hours n half (so tiring!) to find another restaurant we can take sheesha. In the end, it was already 4 at evening. We end up giving up persisting sheesha but decided to eat too late-lunch at a Indian restaurant. There was the best indian restaurant I've ever been. Even tho a clerk was just a clerk, he interrupted us to order all meals we'd take and changed all orders. funny. And they served us free chai n something like snack we weren't familiar with. lucky! more and more fun things happened to us but I'm too lazy to write. After that, visited a gallery near the station, we relaxed like in my house or more than that, talked to students from Musashino Art School running that for 3 weeks( to be honest, I'm aiming to hold a kinda exhibition there), ate cookies impudently, got home with satisfaction. I do love to stay on other ppl's places.

a clerk asked us 'are u cold?' n 'it's fine' said us. but somehow he turned a switch of stove n brought a lump to us.

queen akiko is here.

look like native Indian.

Absolutely it looks like "OTOKO (men)". imagined "otoko" class n maybe it's something like gay.

two bored men + pens +papers = it's time to make zine

2011-02-08T22:31:00.007+09:00

Crystal Castles vs. Uffie - Make It Hotttt

Since I have affection to old pictures I took before more than recent ones, I made another blog for them. yes go to check >>> here
Memories are beautiful.
昔撮った写真に愛着を覚え、どうにかしたいと思い新しいブログを作りました。上にある"here"ボタンから飛べます。思い出は美しい、って言うし。

Well, now I'm making a 4th zine composed of writing mainly. Today visited Naked even though I've gotten a call from Shimada-san that they'd go on trip to US as buyer. why? calling me, he was saying he had asked a girl to work instead, I remembered that and just thought I might get along with her. She remembered me and to my surprise, she did say she loved my zines. yay!
Then she's also interested in zine and we started making it off the cuff. were searching staffs to make it around the store and using them freely. It's gonna be small drawing collections. excited. Haruna-san's drawings were pop and cute!

はい、それでいま4作目のzineを作っています、今回は書き物がメインです。今日、嶋田さんが電話でアメリカに買い付けに行ってくるって言っていたにも関わらず、Nakedに行きました。電話で、前に一度だけ会ったことがあるハルナさんが店番をやっていると知り、仲良くなりたいなあ、なんて思いながら行きました。私のことを覚えててくれて、驚いたことに、なんと私のジンを褒めてくれました。いえーい！
それでハルナさんもジンに興味があるらしく、その場で一緒に即興で作りました。お店の中を探して、勝手に道具使って、わはは。小さいドローイング集になりそう。ワクワク。
はるなさんのドローイング、ポップで可愛い！

ugly body nasty mind

2011-02-07T00:03:00.005+09:00

ティーンエージ・コンフリクト

2011-02-06T22:47:00.014+09:00

Wetdog - Lower Leg from Angular Records on Vimeo.
菜緒に英語を教えにカフェで会って、真奈も交えてご飯を食べながら話をしたらまともな気分になったので、数日ぶりに、ちゃんとパソコンを開いた。
この数日間、家の中の人々が活動しはじめる朝7時ごろにようやく眠れるっていう、参っちゃう生活をしていました。深夜の2時ごろから5時間真っ暗な部屋でお布団にくるまってると心臓がバクバクして涙がボロボロ出てくる。
まぁいいや、この話は。書いてるうちに思い出してきちゃう。
そう、昨日高校3年生のときのクラス会に行きました。行ってよかった。
大勢の人を観察して、コントロール不可能になった私は一般的にアリなのかを観察したかった。なんていうのか、ちゃんと人間なのか確認しようと思いました。あぁ、意味伝わらなさそう。
昨日は大勢のなかの小さな、存在責任から開放された状態だったので楽でした、とても。結局、確認はできなかったけど。
それでね、そう、2、3時間前に2人でご飯を食べたときにこの話をしたら、ここまできたら慧子格好いいよ、って真奈が言ったことで、まあ良いのか、って良い意味でモヤモヤグチョグチョになったこのことから逃げることができました。ありがとう
こんな気分でせっかくの春休みを過ごしたくない。明日から、大怪我するスピードで生きる

ファンキー麗奈。麗奈ぐらいパワフルになりたい。よわよわな私ってダサい。

Billy Elliot aka Megumi

2011-02-02T22:12:00.017+09:00

My pa often receives coupon, invitation for movie or something, sometimes food.(even tonight I ate raw oyster for dinner, which he'd get from his colleagues) Yesterday I attended a talkshow of Natsuko Toda, a pioneer of Japanese-English subtitle making, and to watch Billy Elliot subtitled by her with meguchan. To be honest, I feel she is proud of herself too much and doesn't give the way until die, this is why I went to restroom in the middle of that. Though the talkshow was just time for doze off, Billy Elliot was touching and a audience behind us was crying over and over and laughing so happily, yes this film is worth as doing them.
Anyway, why this title is Billy Elliot aka Megumi is because She seems to like skipping like me do.

We just had a few time to eat this deluxe parfait, you can see a part of it tho.

Turkish meal like Kebab. pretty restaurant!

and lovely store was already closed at 23.

ジンジンじわじわアートが広がる

2011-01-30T23:41:00.014+09:00

模索舎さんにzineを収めるのをかねて、ミニコミフリマを見に神保町に行きました。
新御茶ノ水駅から行こうとしたら道に迷い、（行く前から迷うことは分かっていたからいいです、知らない街を歩き回るの好き）同じエレベーターに何度も乗っては降りを繰り返していたら、中学生くらいの男の子もどうやら迷ったらしく、何度も私と同じことを繰り返してた。
街行く人々に聞いても全く着かないから路地裏をぐるぐるしてると、路上に本がどさっと並べられててね、それが古いRockin' Onとか洋書とか全部パーフェクト。センス良すぎ。最高。
なんかミーハーな女の子みたいにミック・ジャガークール！って思いながら、道路に座り込んで本を漁ってた。
目的の漫楽園さんは大通りに普通にあって、中にはこの前見た4、50代の髪の毛くしゃくしゃ、洋服ぼろぼろ、ひょろひょろで下から私を威嚇するように見てくる模索舎の関係者の人がいたから声をかけたの。
この間見たときにも、私のことをカウンターの奥から何も言わずに、ただ若いだけのスピリットなし女が来たみたいな目でじーっと睨んでて、何故かちょう話したいと思ってたから。
zineを渡したら、ぱっと裏表紙を見て、小さい声でシンクユーって、呪文みたいに、またまた私のことを下から睨みつけるように見上げながら呟きつづけてて、私も黙って様子を見たくて相手の顔をじっと見てました。
私がサンキュー？って聞くと、違う、シンクユー、って言うから、ん、沈め？って答えると、そう、って言って、またジネ、ジネとジンをわざと読み間違え遊びをしてた。
私としては、こんなに”それ”っぽいひとに会えたことが嬉しくて、ぐっと近いところがある気がしてたの。勝手に。本ばかり読んでる変わり者みたいな。
会場には、Nakedのお隣のGarage Sale（原宿G2?の本店）でたまに開催されるブック・マーケットの主催者であるトミーさんが持ってくる野宿野郎のミニコミとかが並んでたよ。
けど、その不思議な、おじさんって言い方は正しくないなぁ、例えるなら威嚇したネコみたいな人を気に入ってちゃって、それだけ。
数十分話してて、実際はそうなんだけど、意味不明じゃなくて支離滅裂でもなく、面白かった。喋り方がいいんだ、たぶん。
船橋のネコは飛脚に殴られて死んじゃうって話と、船橋の水はまずいから、体の底から腐っていくって話と、寺島しのぶの引きこもりの娘が漫画かなんかを書いて、模索舎に持ってきたときに、タコシェに行けって言い、その娘が家から出られるようになるのが夢だって話と、私がサクラになって出展者のミニコミを買う作戦を立てようって話と、まず値切らないとふっかけられるから、こっちもまずは2000円とか言ったほうがいいって、はなし。
1人で出かけたときに、良いものを見ることは出来るけど、良い人に出会うことってあんまりない。新しい人に会うこと自体、進むためのエネルギーになると思ってたけど、良い人に会ったときはエネルギーなんかじゃなくてもっと一気に突っ走る、ユートピアの中を。ソースをゲットしたことがエネルギーだとしたら、作品ができあがったときの達成感みたい。ちょっと違うか。

そのあとは秋葉原の3331 Art Chiyodaに4か月ぶりくらいに行ったよ。エマさんに新しくAir 3331っていうプロジェクトがあるから来てねって招待してもらったのです。
会場が分からなくて、あれ？ってうろうろしてたら端の鍵がかかった部屋にそれらしい人たちがいて、外に人が出る瞬間に中に潜入。
みんなお洒落でアートピーポーとして完璧でした。かろうじて高級そうな雰囲気ではなかったけど、私の汚いものへの愛着感と安心感を考慮すると、どぎまぎする理由も分かるでしょ。
知り合いがエマさんとヒスンちゃんだけで、インターンで参加してるんだって、普段はもうちょっと馴染めるんだけど、人と場所の雰囲気に飲まれた。
そして、ヒスンちゃんに教えてもらってようやく気がついたのは、そこにいる人全員がスタッフかアーティストかキュレーターで、プライベートパーティだったってわけ。一般人ゼロ！私はずうずうしく知らずに乗り込んでたっていう悲劇だけど喜劇。
エマさんは一般のひとも入れるんですよ、とは言ってたけど、鍵もかかってたし、あとでフライヤーを見たら、国内外のアーティスト＆キュレーターのためのプログラムって書いてあった。自爆。ばああああああん！
最後まで残らずにさくっと帰ってきちゃって態度悪かっただろうなぁ。
でもすごくレアな経験でした。
こんなことを書いてるけど、エマさんがボランティアで参加してくれる？ってせっかく誘ってくれて、やっぱりそう言われると嬉しくなっちゃうから、また乗り込む。

We Are Trees - Sunrise Sunset

teenage fantasy

2011-01-29T22:06:00.022+09:00

Grass Widow - "Walking Out on Love" by crawdaddy

cute his shy smile.

native american megumi yo

failure

failure again

tying tiffany

2011-01-24T21:59:00.005+09:00

do you know her tying tiffany or have you ever heard of her name before? first time i listened to her songs was 3 years ago or so and soon i was into her music world.
though it was not first time to get message from her, it was first to get friend request of fb from her with a message 'Hi, very nice blog!'. so opening my email from fb, i was almost yelling in English class and feeling skipping along by myself.
enjoy her video 'Pazza'.

Tying Tiffany - Pazza PVI Award 2008 from marcomarchesi on Vimeo

i cannot stop reading an essay by Idumi Suzuki(there is her pic below i already uploaded a few days ago). She is eroticism itself.

jap women

2011-01-21T17:15:00.011+09:00

菊池凛子（Rinko Kikuchi）

黒柳徹子（Tetsuko Kuroyanagi）

小野洋子（Yoko Ono）

戸川純（Jyun Togawa）

鈴木いづみ（Izumi Suzuki）

小島聖（Hijiri Kojima）

広田レオナ（Reona Hirota）

monkeis were better than us

2011-01-18T21:50:00.010+09:00

heeeyah! I'll let you know coolest circus group from German. They are called Broken Zirkus Monkey Band. They came here alomost just by tall bike that was put another bike together like ---> this. For teach street children and orphans how to raise money not to beg for. and the venue was also amazing. It was HIV center mainly for gays but somehow there was pretty comfortable even for me, it'd rather 2 cho-me, shinjuku called the city for gays or something in general was awesome and there is the second city only Nishi-nippori. yes, talking to one member of them, he said like 'let's join us if you want' or something. How great invitation it was and I wish I could play some instruments and be more like roamer flee from any titles. and then he giggled at a kinda porn magazine covered by a typical gay.

the monKey banD in Tokyo from monkey band on Vimeo.

a patch from them.
and me, ando-kun, mito-san and shimada-san (yes, it's Naked crew) were seeing around an exhibition in Ueno in the morning with free tickets I've gotten from dad. Since I didn't get anything, it made me just think twice of how better modern art is. anyway the one we didn't know what to do was this.

Oh, last thing to say is I'm gonna sell my zines at Mosaku-shya(模索舎) perhaps from March. uh, a lil nervous but feeling hop-step-jump.

ジャパニーズ
・壊れたサルバンドというドイツからはるばるトールバイクという自転車に乗ってやってきたサーカスバンドを見に行ったらちょう素敵でした。孤児にお金を稼ぐ方法を教えるために世界中を周ってるんだって。えらい。それに会場がHIVセンターみたいなところだったんだけど、居心地が良かったからオススメ。メンバーのひとりが一緒にやろうよ、って言ってくれて嬉しかった。それで私が読んでたゲイの雑誌を見て喜んでた。
・同日、午前中はネイキッドクルーで上野の国立西洋美術館の特別展を見に行きました。大声では言えないけど、宗教が絡んだ絵は知識がない私みたいな非常識には難しい。
・ついに私のzineがちゃんと販売されるみたいよう。新宿の模索舎さんを検索。またはとにかく行ってみて。まだ納品すらしてないけれど。

runny nose seems never end

2011-01-11T17:05:00.011+09:00

I love the platform shoes. It's so lovely.

Oh anyway, today I first saw a boy in my uni has an interest in music scene in Brooklyn at last even tho it's the hottest scene in the world. I was curious what type of staffs do they listen to. These below are bands I'm into firmly. Basically I like girls do punk and all.
and yes, when I was doing skype Davy and once I called myself a bad slung, he reproached me to use it anymore and asked me how did I know that.
It's sure from rad songs. I like these too. I'd rather like comedy or trashy songs more than popular one. It's natural one in Brooklyn is hot and fun though.

・Best Fwends - House Ghost
・Bratmobile - Eating Toothpaste
・Coma Cinema - Flower Pills
・Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros - Home
・Hidden Cameras - The Lollipop Generation
・Girls - Morning Light
・Grass Widow - Fried Egg
・Gravy Train!!!! - Club Situation
・Hawnay Troof - Dry Hump
・Japanther - Challenge
・Le Tigre - Nanny Nanny Boo Boo
・Memoryhouse - Heirloom
・Mika Miko - Wild Bore
・Pens - Fukufuckinfuk
・Shannon and the Clams - Hunk Hunt
・Wetdog - Lower Leg
・Yoko Ono - Kiss Kiss Kiss

time to do it do it do it

2011-01-08T00:57:00.008+09:00

silly. i feel i'm losing my own weirdness/individuality or something like that n getting sociability n adaptability instead.
the gray dress i'm wearing in the pic is a maternity dress my mom was in when she was pregnant with me. historical anyway.

ちなみに、このグレーのワンピースは私がまだ母のお腹にいる頃に母が着ていたものです。歴史ねえ。

2011！年明けだよ！

2011-01-05T13:40:00.015+09:00

'Trash Kit' cute tiny diy band.

お久しぶりにまともにブログを書いてみようかと思います。
初めに、あけましておめでとう。
去年は、振り返ってみると人生最高の年だったなと思います。音楽聞きながらプラプラ家の周りを寒い中散歩してるときによく、思い出しては良い気分になってる。クールなひとたちにたくさん出会えたことが１つ最大の理由で、また去年は後半は特に運もよかった。
そう、だからとにかくナイスな年を過ごせました、ユーのおかげです。あんたも、そこの君も、おーい君だよ、あ・り・が・と・う！
去年の暮れから3日まで祖母のお家に行きました。2泊3日。
毎回必ずミサと一緒に田舎道探検をするんだけど（ただ行ったことない道を歩き回るだけ）、今回はネコ探しも同時にやろうやろうってわくわくしてたら、ちょうど何年かぶりにレバノンから帰ってきたおじちゃんのお嫁さんがネコ好きだって言うんで3人で出かけました。まあ、ネコは見つからなかったけど。
けれど何度かイヌとじゃれることに成功。下の写真のシーズーと飼い主のおじさんには翌日、元旦に片道30分ほどのところにある大甕神社の参拝列に並んでたときに偶然再会した！はは
帰りに駄菓子を買って帰って、ねるねるねるね作って遊んだ。おいしくはなかった。
あぁ、もうこのお泊りから何日も経っちゃって書く気分になれないなぁ。
それで今日5日から学校があると思って、もう遅刻はできないと気を引き締めてしゃきっと起き、それに珍しく目覚めもよくて爽やかな気分だったっていうのに、学校誰もいないんだから。まさかと思って風邪っぴきのお母さんに電話して、ようやく明日からだってことに気がついた。なんだそりゃ。一人で声に出して笑ったわ。
こういう日は絶対出かける気分になってるはずで、今日も例外じゃなかったけどさ、今日ってまだお正月休みとかいうものらしくて、ギャラリーやらライブハウスって空いてないんだね。

自分のことをハンサムだと思ってるおじいちゃん。ナルシストの血は確かに私にも流れてる

今年の未公開集/unposted photos in this year 9

2010-12-30T02:44:00.001+09:00

December

nice view

lil twins

plus their boss

too much impact

sally cat
back to in the 80's.

Lin Chinese & me Japanese had a dinner at Korean restaurant this day.

memorial telephone box

not TIM CARRY but TIM CURRY

were watching a rocky horror picture show.

Erisa's sensual camera case. I think it'd rather B-STYLE.
I almost exposed my underwear.
These pics were for Nao's b-day card.

classmates Akiko, Natsuko and Erisa
Christmas present to those participated in her smile project from Yoko Ono
awkward

photo collection of New York City from uni library.
to read catcher in the rye in English is gonna be my first challenge in 2011.
the moment i was telling nao that mana didn't have so much cashes

to addict to drugs caused she looked much older
aya

the one you're looking at is kesha
punks

今年の未公開集/unposted photos in this year 8

2010-12-30T02:31:00.001+09:00

November

emma'd treat us this cake set

this is art itself

adam's dead eyes

most dangerous stairs ever

forced christine to smile more

kesha having a pure eyes like a puppy eating a hamburger

今年の未公開集/unposted photos in this year 7

2010-12-30T02:26:00.000+09:00

October

the photo above is 'not'
this one too, 'not'
then here is 'love'
to hug is 'love'
at akihabara crossway
to shout dirty language is 'not'

写真・芝田文乃さん/pictures by Ayano Shibata

missed applying this project, fabulous

it's almost megumi's natural face

smelled weed

'wanna eat you guys'

i seem at the time lil fatter than me in now

今年の未公開集/unposted photos in this year 6

2010-12-30T02:21:00.002+09:00

September

smashing

yoga

like my dead face
meow
were jumping and running around on a floor where some exclusive restaurants line

hunted a giraffe by hand

amazing old japanese contest

woooooooooow

our girls nights had no girls talk. more physical one

no makeup no life

oh-i-sweeeee

adam in living museum
indian fes

megumi, i was planning to use them for a zine to compare some differences or something but i gave up cos color copy is much costly
me
azumi
natsuko
sally
davy
adam
karin
christine
emma

今年の未公開集/unposted photos in this year 5

2010-12-30T02:12:00.001+09:00

August
lin collected cups filled with different color juices n said 'satisfied with this collection just cos it's beautiful'
scared of a number of insects but look miserable

a new insect

lin running about on beach but not like cute as couples do

the right and bottom one is my name and title of zine, on the wall of of 'naked'
mai n me tried to make a catalog of naked. just an attempt in the end

an old supervisor or something in a comedy movie

thinking if i'll be doing same thing again or changing a way a lil

今年の未公開集/unposted photos in this year 4

2010-12-30T02:05:00.002+09:00

July

this is still my desktop picture

how yellow my legs are, i thought n just took a pic

he on right and top looks so my friend, toshi

takashi homma's photo collection megumi bought

今年の未公開集/unposted photos in this year 3

2010-12-30T02:01:00.000+09:00

June

started to get along with shimada-san in naked (i mean of course he is a owner of naked, a vintage clothes store)
alley cats

今年の未公開集/unposted photos in this year 2

2010-12-30T01:59:00.001+09:00

March

around the days i started to like hedwig and the angry inch but my costume was more like a rocky horror picture show

went to british hills as orientation tour

satomi is always lovely seriously
hot
she loves tv more than anything in the world

今年の未公開集/unposted photos in this year

2010-12-30T01:55:00.000+09:00

January to April

when i was still a high school student

some of you might notice something strange that i uploaded these photos but for me it was already out of matter

だって忘年会シーズンだから

2010-12-29T00:16:00.001+09:00

Mana & Nao
be-lated birthday party for Nao. love ya. have a lot to thank youuu.

instant b-day present.

Misa, Mai and Aya
drunk and laughed as hell. filthy GALS. needed a minute rest in toilet, even three times. but they peeped into the room I was in. lovely assholes.

Mai forced us to laugh and was getting mad if not.

with my lipstick. look gays.
the moment when aya tried how nasty lip's photo she could take.

Satomi. I look like an old dirty actor, according to her. you're such a kind and lazy.

new new

2010-12-28T11:50:00.001+09:00

i've working out them just around for 5 minutes at sleepless night.

BFF 3

2010-12-22T22:14:00.006+09:00

Parenthetical Girls - Thank God It's Not Christmas

It was the last day, I mean just of IES 2010 program.
joined adam and his friends going to narita airport and hoped to stop to gain a minute anymore.
They looked to try to enjoy japan until the very last minute of the end.
First Adam was gone. even tho it was happened accidentally, really sorry for the kiss marks on his jacket.
Second was Rebecca. she was the only person smiled waving her hand when we felt heartbreaking.
Then Sally, Christine and Kesha arrived there and took videos not to miss them afterward.
They were gone all together third.
and moved to second terminal to see Davy off and after a while, Azumi joined us.
Then the last person Davy was also gone.
I often remember their last faces I saw in public. miss my friends so much more than anything.
Actually I feel better thanks to my friends in here and who said kind words while I'm feeling like bearing this loneliness in mind.
Being lucky, we have high technologies can fly all over the world at the speed of light.

adam, you got a plastic surgery?

here is the meeting point we met first time

gifts from Christine. thankfulness.

bestfriendsforever.

architecture classmates. love them.

Davy seemed to have done it too as Adam did.

Merry Christmas
Thanks all related to me. hope your happiness.

btw I made a label of IES. see the memories on right bar.

BFF 2

2010-12-22T22:12:00.006+09:00

The Pains of Being Pure at Heart "Higher Than the Stars"

This day, I was planning to help Christine with packing. Cos I gave trouble her the day before this day. got up 9:30 and was working on the presents for them.
I supposed it'd take me 2 hours at most but it was over 5:30 when I was done them.
It was too late to go out, I thought and recently I went home on the last train and my parents seemed no longer stand it. So told Adam that I couldn't come and just stared the air for a while, me felt sorry for them so much.
asking my mom if I could see them, me spoke with tears on face somehow.
Thanks to my mom's mercy, I was allowed to go out and rush to Harajuku.
It was the last Design Festa with them. n it was the last Harajuku with them.
had a dinner with them. 'adventure time!' said sally's friend and tried to fill an empty tea pot with beer. even tho she was stopped by surprised n lil mad waitress, it was amazing.
and another funny thing is here. walking to Shibuya from Harajuku, at omotesando street, found a cafe where those wearing Christmas costumes held a party and were taking pics. then they tried to show in photos so we run into the cafe.
But it was a kinda personal party, it was a fuss inside because of our intrusions. Some ppl shouted 'get out' or 'who are you' over a speakerphone.
arriving at shibuya, tower record again. then some of us included me were about to go home, I didn't notice it was the last moment to meet all together.
Sally was the first to cry and me also cried. everyone at there were influenced the sadness, think.
still now, remembering the time, feel heartbreaking even tho I believe it's not last time to see them together.

Kesha got a cold, so did Sally.
She in the pic looks a killer.

Kesha again. She got a mask. fabulous.

I know it'll make Sally cry again. sad time.

love

BFF 1

2010-12-22T22:09:00.005+09:00

The day of farewell party.
Beforehand, azumi and me bought snacks for christine's after party. There are some friends who it was the last time to see.
After the party, almost everyone went to a part and got drunk. park party.
We were strolling in cold and then when I got back to the park again, my coat already disappeared. So I was wearing just a sweatshirt and freezing.
Some of them were going to all-night karaoke party so my friends were about to go Christine's house.
Something were happened and it made us get off from the train and decide to join karaoke members.
But considered of Christine whom me and azumi didn't let her go home for packing with her other friends but eventually went home afterward, we felt guilty of her and followed her on other train even tho we had no idea where was her dorm.
In the end, we could reach on a convenience store near her dorm but we had to give up searching for that. We held a snack party outside in super cold temperature at night and walked back to the station keeping eating snacks. suck.
It was so stupid but I like wasteful actions a lot.

cutest couples.

She was so lovely. She brought just a small piece of chocolate for me many times. and this smile.

He lookeed flying seeing it in public.

freezing snack party.

glad that sally and adam were a part of me.

miss miss

2010-12-22T20:33:00.013+09:00

Girls - Heartbreaker by isaidahip

went to harajuku yesterday to see ono yoko's smile exhibition. I'm going to visit there again tomorrow too tho.
I was too in gray world to miss getting off from a train but she gave me a positive power to be calm.

Afterward, visited a Design Festa without my friends. It totally reminded me of them strongly.

there are many many memoies at harajuku area.

today also, I was melancholy. but my classmates would invite me to see south-asian fes held at my uni to eat free foods and see local dances.
to be honest, i wasn't feelin like going to such a fes.
However, their melodies healed my dissipated heart, their dances were pretty, and their foods were just my tastes.
thanks for inviting me girls! now I feel better.

pumpkin taste.

though I'm still dying, it's also sad thinking of a day when I don't feel sad because of this.

I had a school by today, it means I had to go out of my house. Then winter vacation starts from tomorrow. I gotta go out voluntarily.

when you miss us, watch them to make you smile again!

2010-12-19T22:42:00.013+09:00

SO MUCH LOVES!!!!!
I miss Adam's 'WHYYYYYYYYYYY?' and 'EXCITEEEEEEEEEEED!'.
I miss Christine's facial expressions specially the way when she is disugusted.
I miss Davy's warm-hearted personality.
I miss Kesha's way to dance and powerful laughing.
I miss Rebecca's kicks to knock me down.
I miss Sally's soft and comfortable smile.

I'm reading Adam's letter with a CD Chiristine gave me, which makes me cry again and again so I'm using Sally's tissues until wearing out and even in such a mood, I'm hungry cos missed taking lunch today so eating Rebecca's gifts chocolates and afterwhile dancing like Kesha and waiting for Davy's adding me on skype.

After I saw you off at Narita airport, Azumi and me were hugging each other for a while. I am here in Japan as usual. just back to 3 months ago when nothing started but somethings are different from at the time. They left a lot of memories and footprints anywhere they were. So tomorrow whem I'm at school and see around the places they were, I don't know but I may be looking for you and seeing hallucinations.

On the way to my home, I cried walking at night thinking of them and actually keep crying still now. I had to be miserable with tears all over my face and dirty make-up but it didn't matter.
I really appriciate to you for coming here and being the nicest friends with.
All you would make my 3 months. much loves.

To be honest, I already traveled to New York, D.C. and other countries my friends are in my dream.
All I wish is just to be with my best friends at wherever they're all together.
Even though it was all my hope, it's difficult. But it's not impossible.

Sally said you're the best e-pal.
Rebecca said I'm coming back here in March.
Kesha said Stay over in my house when you come to New York.
Davy said I'm coming back here in next March if I can get enough money.
Christine said you're my first art buddy.
Adam said you're the coolest RIOT GRRRL in japan.

I was the most lucky to get along with you.
!!!!!!YOU'RE THE COOLEST EVER!!!!!!

ちこたん

2010-12-16T21:49:00.003+09:00

きのうなっちゃんが教えてくれてみんなで見ました。ぎゃーーーって叫んで、重たい気分になった衝撃のビデオ。
しかもこれ、合唱曲。

Sound Clouds

2010-12-12T19:37:00.017+09:00

I missed taking pics of Christine so drew her portrait instead.

When he saw the drunk man.

Saturday, I participated in a event Momoko would invite called Sound Clouds. It looks it was born in America. This one.
Downloaded MP3 we already received in advance into ipod, pc or any others, which is a remix of David Sylvia and others famous artist in the way, and were walking around Shibuya area with about 20 ppl for an hour, sounding the stuff like a floating big cloud.
Emma and Ijima was coming there.
At Dislocate, I've thought Emma and me are literally an organizer and a volunteer staff, however the relationship between us was just like a good friend I felt while we were strolling, it was nice for me.
She taught me what were the artists at dislocate doing now.
The sound was spread thinner and thinner so I supposed it might be difficult that it was working well to their ears. But when we were around below the ground, guards were getting restless and warned only a man with not so a big speaker.
They had an after party, but I got a call from Christine that they were waiting at the station even they were late for the event. They did carefully, so I declined going to the party and ate a Chinese meal. First time to eat Shark's fin.
Adam was joining us and spending around 3 hours at Tower Record. They were so fun with everything that when I noticed, it was already 11pm.
On the way to home, we met a woman who also did walk around Shibuya and gave us a rest of food at the party.
Happy Saturday.
Then, today me and my dad went to Ikebukuro to see a musical.
I always missed storyline of any story but somehow cried to death.
It remained me of the memories every after a musical, I got inspiration and danced on street to be a actress when I was around 6 to 10 years old.

土曜日、ももこさんが招待してくれたSound Cloudsというイベントに参加しました。アメリカが発祥の地みたいだね。これが原点。
事前に送ってもらったMP3をアイポッドやパソコンにダウンロードして、David Sylviaとかのリミックスらしいです、それを響かせながら、1時間ほど渋谷の街を20人くらいで周りました。
エマさんと飯嶋さんも来てたよ。
Dislocateではホストとボランティアのように思えた関係が、ゆっくり歩きながらたわいもないお喋りをしていたらお友達になってて、なんか嬉しかったなあ。
アーティストのみんながいまどうしてるかなんてのも聞けました。
音が拡散してふや～っとした大きさだったから、周りの反応はイマイチかなって思っていたけど、地下に入ったところで警備員が鋭い顔でせわしなく動きはじめて、なぜか1人だけ注意された。
サウンドクラウドのあとはアフターパーティがあったんだけど、パレードには間に合わなかったけど駅まで来たよ、ってクリスティーンから電話があって、せっかく来てくれたのでパーティをやめ、みんなで中華料理を食べました。初めてフカヒレ食べた。
アダムも合流してタワーレコードに行ってぐるぐるしてたよ。みんないちいち面白くて、気づいたら11時も過ぎてた。
帰り、大手町かどっかの駅で声をかけてくれたお姉さんがサウンドクラウドでも一緒だった人で、みんなにパーティで余っちゃたから、ってチーズとか色々くれた。
ハッピーサタデイ。
そして今日は、父と娘2人で池袋の文化村にミュージカルを見に行きました。話がよく分からなかったけどぼろぼろになるくらい泣きました。私が小学校低学年の頃、月に1本くらいの頻度でミュージカル見に出かけて、見終えると影響されて、舞台役者になるための練習！とか言って道路でくるくる踊ってたのを思い出した。

DO IT PUNK, GRRRLS!

2010-12-03T21:19:00.017+09:00

Natsuko was the best! gotta do something new right now.

BARK BARK DISCO plus ADAM & SALLY

2010-12-03T01:13:00.015+09:00

Bark Bark Disco was coming! Unfortunately I was missing the way to ftftftf.(七針) so when we arrived there where was super cozy place actually, his turn was nearly over.
I enjoyed other bands and there with adam and sally, yes so it was ok, just I force me to think so tho.
wanna go texas for sxsw next yearrrrr.

visiting also Naked with them the other day. Here are pretty pictures of them.
I'm almost crying whenever I remember they're leaving here two weeks later, like around last days at dislocate. sad.

and beautiful memories of dislocate. see them at here.
It made me remember the days and miss them.

public and private face

2010-12-01T03:20:00.007+09:00

In last summar, I saw a poster in 3331 said to take women's private and public face.
I found it interesting at first glance and contacted with a photographer Lucie.
She came my house and took ones as promised, and then back to NY.
Now, I got some cautions by those who got spam messages from me even me alredy deleted my hotmail account, so I logged in my page was supposed extinct and saw more than 70 spam messages to them from me in a send box.
Also I looked over new emails and found one from Lucie that she's gonna send me a photo collection and make a webpage. wow.
I was touched to be a part of her work.
The day, I took just around 5 minutes to make up.

lots of coziness

2010-11-28T13:42:00.040+09:00

Mickey Mouse - Wavves by Downtown HotBlooded Story

Nov 26th: 4th day
this day I felt like dropping in somewhere I've never ever been to.
I went to three galleries, which one is in Kuramae, one is in next area Asakusa I walked there and another is in Shinjuku.
First one is the best gallery in my life and I came to be totally calm out of stress. It was a part of a temple, so I first wondered hearing rapid heart-beat if he'd solicit me for contribution or something.
According to the owner, there is used for meditation too. Since I noticed there was sophisticated and different from a materialistic room.
You should visit here KU REN BOH

In next gallery, gallery ef, a cat welcomed me on the stairs.
Be careful to go up the stairs. I almost stopped on the middle of the stairs.

The last is Wako Works of Art.
It was abstract installation I can't get. Eventually it was too spiritual for me to understand even if the person in the gallery explained me well.

On the way to the Shinjuku station, fallen leaves were illuminated brightly.

27th: 5th day
Chilled out in Sakuragi-cho.
I wrote KU REN BOH is the best a minute ago but I also liked this gallery! See the blog of Artmania
I wanna move here if I can stand scary stairs (again).
Christine introduced her coworker to us. She cannot speak English but they somehow communicated with body language, it made me impressed.

Zooooo.
Some animals in the zoo were retard (a monky must get sick) and the person in charge was mad.

When we were talking about the free magazine wanted those for nasty jobs and Adam read them out, the old man sitting next to us smiled us and made crooss with his hands. international exchange.

Yokohama cosmo world.
Christine were forced to go to a hounted house by Adam, Kesha and staffes of the attraction. I couldn't hear other visitor's screeming and in the end, she told me they were the fastest so far. I'm proud of them.